Where have I been?....that is the question a very dear friend of mine asked when we met for dinner a month ago. She just asked me why I haven’t blogged lately—I was shocked. I didn’t think anyone read this—never mind check back to see if I have written anything. I promised her I would get back into it—so here I am. Welcome back to me—and maybe to my one friend if she hasn’t given up on me yet….
I do admit, It has been quite some time since my last blog—I apologize—I have no excuses. I just didn’t think anyone was really paying any attention so for the last few (ok so it’s been more than a few) months I have taken a hiatus. So I have asked myself—Does it really matter if anyone is following this or reading this? No-not really. What should matter is that once I write whatever randoms are in my head—if I feel better for it (and maybe my friend too) then my job here is done. So what can I talk about? How do I jump back into this? I am not a blogger—I just am not, but I do have thoughts that are always in my head—some more structured than random—so I will start there. How about I cover where I have been and we will go from there? Ok….
I have been feeling like I am having an identity crisis. Yep…this is going to be heavy I guess—so much for the light random thoughts—Not a bad crisis—but more trying to define who I am. Everyone knows I am a wife, and mom, and working woman—but people are shocked a bit when they find out I lead a double life—that I am intuitive—and I am only 34 (well I will be in 15 more days but who’s counting? Me.) I shy away from telling folks this because I am afraid of the labels when I should embrace them—but I don’t want to be known as “the card reader” or the “psychic” or “my intuitive friend”—I just want to be known as me—but I know that’s not enough for the world—who seems to be banging on the door lately because it just may be ready for me. I am upon some special times ahead, I can feel it and I better figure this one out quick.
So that’s where I have been—stuck—in limbo for the past months—trying to figure it all out while holding up the status quo of my “normal” life. I can tell everyone else what they should do with theirs—but not myself—I have to feel it—and when I say that I don’t want to be labeled—I mean it—I don’t want to be labeled. So I am thinking of some new tricks. Trying to figure out what my niche is—and guess what? It IS NOT cards—it’s not—I don’t need them but I am afraid to put that out there—guess what? I just did!!! I can never be my own Queen of Hearts until I do that—I need to feel more in line with who I am—so who am I? I am the person my friends call when they need advice-love advice, family advice, work advice—I am the person someone from across the country calls for guidance with relationships, friendships, work. I am the one they think of when they are in the middle of a crisis or the peak of some great news. It all gets shared with me--to help them with the next step. The common thread—I give advice—pretty darn good advice—and people LISTEN to me—and it WORKS—because I feel it in the pit of my being—I am intuitive—ok we've got that one established. So what am I supposed to do with it? I am thinking I am going to start an intuitive advice column or blog-radio show? Who knows? I am open for suggestion and open to creating those possibilities…until then—don’t you dare call me a card reader J…
