Have you Arrived?

YOU are a WARRIOR.

You may not realize it, but you are.  We all are.  

We are all fighting our own battles. Some battles bigger than others, some more challenging and tiresome and some are just all out…WARS.

They say that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. Over the last couple of years I have met some of the most amazing people that are true warriors to me. Most recently, my path has crossed with two very special people who have touched my life and remain in the forefront of my mind.  I want to write about them, anonymously of course, because they may not ever realize this—they inspire me and have forever changed me at my core. Placed me a step closer to my own arrival.

 

One has gone through a horrific loss of a loved one and the other has gone through a physical loss. Both have been behind a “protective layer” and unable to fully live since their unique experiences. While each of them thanked me for offering them insight and guidance on how to push forward and continue on—I need to thank them because they have opened my eyes to what it really means to forgive, accept yourself, and have the will power to enjoy life after such moments. Having hurt and anger in your heart, and/or lack of self-esteem and self-worth—are huge crosses to bear. To truly forgive and turn a negative event or circumstance into a positive one is a true feat and a huge battle to overcome. We all are a work in progress. We all worry about being prejudged—and often we are guilty of doing just the same. We have to be more conscious of the fact that everyone has fears and insecurities. We have to accept one another unconditionally, more importantly we must first unconditionally accept ourselves.

A dear friend recently called me and so eloquently described what I meant to her-completely out of the blue. She explained that we can see the lines in the road directing us, we know they are there.  When there is a storm, we cannot see the path right in front of us. We need illumination to guide us. It caught me off guard that she views me as the illumination needed during certain times in our lives. Some of us may need just a dim light to gently nudge us forward, others a brighter one to light the path more clearly—and during the darkest of times—we may need the high beams to fully light the way and offer hope.

I have experienced this awakening that I am VALUABLE, that “illumination” is valuable. I know that may seem like such a bold statement. But I really hope that it is not perceived as anything but the fact that I am amazed, continually amazed, on how I have been able to offer someone HOPE. A light has gone on for me here. MY path seems to be more illuminated all of a sudden as well. 

My purpose?  My purpose is to illuminate the path of others.  Show them their path, even in the darkest of times.  This seems so obvious now, but it just clicked over these couple past weeks for me.  

Sometimes we don’t realize how instrumental we are in each other’s lives. I want to thank you for being instrumental in my life. Our paths truly cross for a reason. I have resolved to the fact that while I don’t think I have fully arrived…I am arriving…slowly but surely.  Step by step. I have hope because of you.  The illumination lighting my path is getting brighter and brighter....

Have you arrived?

Xo,

Gina

Meatball Mission: Complete (sort of)

Just a little update to my last post as I find the irony hysterical.

I kept my promise and made homemade meatballs with my boys last night—It wasn’t really planned, honestly.  I had a baked ziti and chicken stuffed with asparagus in the oven (I know you are probably all in shock right now since I so publicly noted how I wasn’t so astute in the cooking department)—but I had the time and if you are Italian you certainly understand that Sunday dinners are more special and seem to be deserving of a little extra LOVE. (Side note: I miss my entire family going over my grandmother’s for Sunday dinner and spending endless hours eating and listening to all the gossip. Those really are some of my best childhood memories) Anywho… we already had more than enough food for dinner—but Hey! I’m Italian and not sure if “enough food” is part of the vocabulary.  So…knowing that I had all the ingredients for meatballs and have had a meatball obsession since my last blog post, I had to comply. 

I asked Sean and Josh to go wash their hands—and in pure “Gina form” I must admit –I didn’t have a recipe. I know I said I would use one—but how hard could this be? I remember making meatballs with my mom and know what ingredients she used to add—so I went off of memory. 1lb ground hamburger, 2 eggs, garlic powder, bread crumbs, parmesan cheese—that was it.   It was so adorable to see the excitement on Sean and Josh’s little faces when I told them that they were going to help me make meatballs. After the quizzical look they gave me of course when they didn’t see me pull a bag out of the freezer. NEVER AGAIN.

They were a little freaked out watching me use my bare hands to blend everything together.  But quickly seemed to forget that and were so adorable smiling away as they rolled them—then of course it became about who could make more than the other—who was not making them big enough— Of course I couldn't expect this to totally be picture perfect moment right?  But for that moment when we all were rolling away, I savored it.  To me it was special. What meant even more was that Jason even participated in the fun. This was a true family affair and I am still smiling.

The kicker…

We all sat down to eat together—Sean asked for two meatballs while Josh only wanted one.  They ate all their baked ziti…..Josh, who never eats, even asked for seconds….but NEITHER of them actually ate their meatballs!!!! What??!!! I asked Sean (who loves meatballs)—“you didn’t eat your meatballs?” He said—“I don’t think I want to”. Um…ok? Same for Josh. Sigh.

Maybe the experience of seeing the raw meat was too much? I don’t know—I find this so amusing because I will admit this……..I never liked my mom’s meatballs (My mom is fully aware of this.  Please don’t think I am crushing her as you read this). I guess payback is a “you –know- what”.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way—because this is just so much more fun to write about—and I know my mom has something to smile about in the irony of all this.

Now if you are asking how the meatballs turned out—very good I must say—next time, and there WILL be a next time whether the boys eat them or not, I think I will use a little less breadcrumbs.  Hey, this is a work in progress, but at least I started.  And more importantly I lived in that moment with the kids-enjoyed them making the meatballs with me…so the fact that they wouldn’t go near them doesn’t deter me from trying again. 

Maybe next time I’ll invite my mom over and see what happens there…J

Thanks for coming along on this meatball journey with me.

Xo

Gina

No More Frozen Meatballs

"What would you do if you weren’t afraid?"

Oprah asked this question on her Life Class webcast this past Monday night.  I have been thinking about it ever since. 

The first question I asked myself is what are we all afraid of? What am I afraid of?

I think I have a laundry list here…let’s start with spiders. I am deathly afraid of spiders-not sure exactly why but they creep me out and make my heart race.  I am afraid of Dexter Morgan following me while wearing his famous brown shirt—that’s never a good sign.  But seriously, I am fearful of heights, drowning, crashing, sickness, throwing up, driving in NYC, rejection, death, spiders, losing a loved one, my own cooking sometimes…ok most times because as my husband, Jason, will attest to—I hardly go off of recipes and just throw concoctions together—watch Jason and the boys eat it and then try to act like it is the best thing I have ever created.  I need to follow recipes. That’s what they are there for right? Why should I feel extra pressure? Just because I am a full blooded Italian, my two grandmothers and my mom could cook their pants off….oh yeah and my dad’s just an executive chef with a laundry list of credentials.  It is in my blood somewhere—my sister was blessed with it—she is a natural little Miss Betty Crocker and is so good at it.  I just haven’t found it—or is it more that I just don’t have the time to dedicate to it?

Why? Because of time. I am afraid of time …all the time… there is never enough time it seems and I am afraid that I am letting the little things and special moments pass me by…such as rolling meatballs with my kids—(handmade using a recipe of course)—not frozen. OMG I can’t believe I just put that in writing—I am so ashamed—but I admit it.  The frozen meatballs were actually not half bad though.  Oh the guilt. The shame.

I digress….where was I? Oh yes...Not having enough time…afraid that busy schedules prevent us from enjoying life’s moments—which is really why we are here.  I am afraid that the clock just keeps ticking away and maybe I am not truly living…laughing…loving…to the fullest.

So what would I do if I wasn’t afraid? I seriously am frozen and just stare at this question. I am afraid to even answer it. Let’s just assume that money is out of the equation as I believe obviously this is a huge factor here that may not have anything to do with our fears but certainly can hold us back.

Ok here we go…baby steps…

I would start and advice column.  I would then move on to a radio advice show—I know I would be great at it and I would feel fulfilled.  I would write a book.   I would jump out of a plane. (deep sigh) I would most definitely have more fun. I would let some people go that weigh me down, put me down, heck I would accept them and not internalize it. I would say NO a lot more, not that I am afraid to say no but I am afraid of the reaction from others if I took more control and said no. I would take more time for me.  Wow—that was not a baby step at all.  Speaking of babies…I would have another—yes I would—but I am afraid. Afraid to push my luck. I have two handsome, eat- up- their–faces little boys, my Sean and my Josh, that I love to death. They are healthy. I am afraid to have another and take a gamble that one more may not be. Hmmmm. I am speechless.  This question sure does pack a punch. Gives me a lot to think about for sure.

What I am realizing just writing this down is that almost everything I listed—I have control over.  I can certainly avoid spiders, learn to cook, take a cab in NYC, learn to say NO a little more, take more time for myself (this is where that maid could come in handy J), enjoy life as much as I can. I control how and when I can put myself out there and start an advice column. Right? Right. So what’s stopping me? I guess nothing….it is time to take action.  Fear keeps us frozen. 

Frozen like frozen meatballs…what fun are they? Making meatballs from scratch, getting right down in there and rolling them is half the fun.  If they are non-edible?—well at least I tried—I didn’t settle for someone else’s idea of a meatball and I can keep practicing until perfect. It is the same with life. Who knew how profound a statement about meatballs could be?! I am on a meatball mission now and then the rest of my fears will be conquered.

I am more afraid of one day being in my late 70’s sitting in a hair salon, getting my hair set and blow dried for the week…yes that’s right…and thinking while under the drier…I wish I did this, I should’ve done that. I never made meatballs with my boys.  That will not be me. I promise that right now. 

What’s stopping you from doing what you are afraid of? I answered my questions.

Your turn.

Thanks for listening,

Xo

Gina

Sit back and RELAX....your life is waiting

“Sometimes we don’t always get what we want…but we get what we NEED”. 

These words rang true this past weekend when I heard them.  I find such truth in this statement.  I just had to write my thoughts down.

We often spend so much time focused on what we want and completely stress out when whatever that happens to be doesn’t come to fruition…but why?  Because we rarely can just relax and live in a moment--many of us are not programmed that way.  I'll admit it: I am not programmed that way.  Often times if we look back we realize that our lives may just in fact be providing us what we need-but we may be oblivious to this at the time.  Sometimes our struggles are really to help us get to the other side of the hurdle. Perhaps the universe is gently nudging us toward the path where we are meant to be.  When we think we really want a different path—the universe puts up obstacles and road blocks—causing us stress because we fight against it out of want for something else.  But how many times do we look back and see that things all had a way of working out for the best? Think about it.

Now BELIEVE me—there are plenty of things I want such as Jennifer Aniston’s body, to hold a winning lottery ticket, an extra couple hours of sleep, and while I'm dreaming...a MAID! But I don’t need any of those things (except the maid) because I when I look at my life right now—I really do have all I need for this point in time.  It may not be ideal or easy, but it is enough and for that I am thankful. 

So why am I writing about this you ask me? A couple reasons…one reason is for me and one for all of you. 

I feel like lately there are so many signs coming my way where I know that I am being nudged.  I have decided to try to go with the flow a little more and trust that my path is ahead of me.  I am embracing the relationships that I am forming, the conversations I am having, and am open to the possibilities that I am experiencing.  I am trying not to worry so much about the logistics of it all—but enjoying the moment and possibility that may be ahead.  Truly I am –I am allowing myself to be excited about my potential path, but also remaining grounded and trusting things will work out as they are supposed to.  That’s me. 

Now let’s talk about you…. so often I try to get the point across to you (yes I may in fact be talking to YOU) to sit back and wait and let your life just have the ability to unfold naturally—things happen for a reason and as they are supposed to—but very rarely does someone take this advice. Instead they keep pushing for something that they don’t realize they don’t really need.  Sometimes we think we are so alone—we try to grasp so hard and hold onto whatever we can.  We think that we will always be alone if we lose that grasp. Why can’t you meet that special someone that is going to take your breath away? Why can you have the job that you always wanted that is going to be the key to financial freedom?  Why? Because you don’t need that yet in your life—and you have to trust it.  More importantly you have to trust yourself and what is around the corner.  Maybe something bigger and better is yet to come—or maybe you are exactly where you need to be. Trust it. Trust yourself.

Life is our teacher and there are many lessons to be learned—some of us sail right on through while some of us hit bumps in the road.  I think those bumps just make our lives richer and our character more robust and versatile.  As long as we can see the positive in all we do, for the moment we are in—we are better for it.  Just be happy. Just be you. Sit back and just live in YOUR moment.

And if you happen to know a maid—send them my way…

xo

~Gina

The NEW ME….is still in question…

Where have I been?....that is the question a very dear friend of mine asked when we met for dinner a month ago.  She just asked me why I haven’t blogged lately—I was shocked.  I didn’t think anyone read this—never mind check back to see if I have written anything.  I promised her I would get back into it—so here I am. Welcome back to me—and maybe to my one friend if she hasn’t given up on me yet….

I do admit, It has been quite some time since my last blog—I apologize—I have no excuses.  I just didn’t think anyone was really paying any attention so for the last few (ok so it’s been more than a few) months I have taken a hiatus.  So I have asked myself—Does it really matter if anyone is following this or reading this?  No-not really.  What should matter is that once I write whatever randoms are in my head—if I feel better for it (and maybe my friend too) then my job here is done.  So what can I talk about? How do I jump back into this? I am not a blogger—I just am not,  but I do have thoughts that are always in my head—some more structured than random—so I will start there.  How about I cover where I have been and we will go from there? Ok….

I have been feeling like I am having an identity crisis.  Yep…this is going to be heavy I guess—so much for the light random thoughts—Not a bad crisis—but more trying to define who I am.  Everyone knows I am a wife, and mom, and working woman—but people are shocked a bit when they find out I lead a double life—that I am intuitive—and I am only 34 (well I will be in 15 more days but who’s counting? Me.)  I shy away from telling folks this because I am afraid of the labels when I should embrace them—but I don’t want to be known as “the card reader”  or the “psychic” or “my intuitive friend”—I just want to be known as me—but I know that’s not enough for the world—who seems to be banging on the door lately because it just may be ready for me.  I am upon some special times ahead, I can feel it and I better figure this one out quick.

So that’s where I have been—stuck—in limbo for the past months—trying to figure it all out while holding up the status quo of my “normal” life.  I can tell everyone else what they should do with theirs—but not myself—I have to feel it—and when I say that I don’t want to be labeled—I mean it—I don’t want to be labeled.  So I am thinking of some new tricks.  Trying to figure out what my niche is—and guess what? It IS NOT cards—it’s not—I don’t need them but I am afraid to put that out there—guess what?  I just did!!!  I can never be my own Queen of Hearts until I do that—I need to feel more in line with who I am—so who am I?  I am the person my friends call when they need advice-love advice, family advice, work advice—I am the person someone from across the country calls for guidance with relationships, friendships, work.  I am the one they think of when they are in the middle of a crisis or the peak of some great news.  It all gets shared with me--to help them with the next step.  The common thread—I give advice—pretty darn good advice—and people LISTEN to me—and it WORKS—because I feel it in the pit of my being—I am intuitive—ok we've got that one established.  So what am I supposed to do with it?  I am thinking I am going to start an intuitive advice column or blog-radio show? Who knows? I am open for suggestion and open to creating those possibilities…until then—don’t you dare call me a card reader J…

Hey Soul Sister...

Hey Henry…

On the eve of my sister’s birthday I think it only appropriate to give her a shout out.  If anyone ever was truly a Queen of Hearts-it’s my sister Michele.  Really. Honestly. Without a doubt.  I could go into my Matron of Honor speech all over again but I will spare those of you that have already heard it.   You may ask…Who is Henry? Remember that song “There’s a hole in the bucket, Dear Lila, Dear Lila…there’s a hole in the bucket Dear Lila a hole…well fix it Dear Henry…” ---well whether you think I am completely off of my rocker or if you actually know the tune---this is something that we used to sing together and just laugh about together—one of those random sisterly memories we both have...that at the time you don’t realize that they are going to stick with you for a lifetime.  This is one of those memories for me—among others that if I put them into writing my sister would have my head so I will just keep them there for safe keeping. 

I have so many of those memories—and appreciate more than I could even put into words having Michele to journey through life with.  And it has been quite the journey indeed.  She is my best friend.  It is hard to believe that last year at this time she just got engaged a couple days before her birthday-and now she is already married…what an amazing year we all shared with her.  I couldn’t be happier for her—just married and planning the next phase of her new life...I can't wait.  I am looking forward to this year ahead (especially this summer’s trip with Jason, Henry and “BIL”) we are going to have so many experiences that will linger the rest of our lives. 

That is what life is about-living in the moment and creating the memories that will sustain you during the good times and the not-so good times.  We should all think about that and take a step back from our own lives sometime, and look at ourselves from the outside—look in and see the memory you are creating…Remember that.

I love you Henry.

Happy Birthday,

Love,

Lila

What's in a title?

Yes, so I already changed the title of my blog, don’t judge me maybe I am just trying to keep you on your toes…-I am indecisive —“Hey Saturn Get off My Virgo” well  I am just going to have to save that splendid title for my book…meaning of the title—still not telling…

The Queen of Hearts…

I like this new title because it means more to me at this point in my life. So many others I know and advise on how to achieve the Queen of Hearts status.  We are all on a journey whether we know it or not to something…to something better—the Queen of Hearts is that title we earn when we can ACCEPT where we are and just BE…BE Happy…Be content…and more importantly BE OURSELVES, our true selves —so many of us don’t know how to do that.  Who is really truly happy at this point in time? Ask yourself—are you content?—Or are you still on your journey? 9 out of 10 of us are still on our journey—it’s enjoying the journey that is the trick. 

If you ask me…I don’t want to be the Queen of Hearts…not right now anyway.  I know that goes against what I usually will advise but it’s the truth…I am perfectly content being the Queen of Diamonds—I am in transition—positive and trudging through while taking it all in and learning from all of life’s little lessons.  And it’s these little lessons for myself that I am learning from so many other people -- all kinds of queens (and kings—how could I forget the kings) of hearts, diamonds, clubs and those terrible spades…that are counting on me—oh the pressure…I am up for the challenge…

More to come…

~Gina